Uncle Todd never wanted to talk about the war. I'd ask him all the time to tell me about it, but he wouldn't ever talk about it. So I started leaving little notes all over his house saying, "Talk about the war". Also, I'd call him up late at night and just say, "the war", and hang up. I think he cracked up and had to go away someplace. He should have talked about the war.

-Jack Handey

-Brandon