I recently Buzzed my head. Tonight I went to the Yacht Club (a local IC bar with mostly terrible music but cheap drinks and people I know) and was twice asked if I was Andrew Juhl, the sexist asshole who writes "The Ledge (an unfunny column in one of the worst newspapers I've ever had my hands on). I somehow found this more offensive then when a coworker told me I looked like the webmaster for the Aryan Nation. Apparently buzzed hair isn't a good look for me.

Being the worst part of one of the worst newspapers ever is no mean feat. If you aren't familiar with how talentless and horrible Andrew Johl is, here is a sample of his latest ledge. Not his worst, just his latest in his string of atrocities against taste.

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Bad pick-up lines actually used on women in Iowa City bars
by Andrew Juhl


• Hey! You look just like my next ex-girlfriend.

• Tell you what: I’ll flip a coin. Heads, you have to sleep with me; tails, I have to sleep with you.

• Roses are red, violets are blue. I like peanut butter, let’s [have sex].

• Excuse me, but are you a lesbian? (No.) Well, what a coincidence: neither am I.

• Other than making men drop to their knees and thank God for being men, what do you do for living?

• Hi. I’m sterile.

• For a second, I was confused; it’s midnight, but the sun was out. Then I realized: It’s just your smile.

• Your face or mine?

• Wanna go halvesies on a bastard child?

• Mind if I put my twinkie in your ho-ho?

• I guarantee you an orgasm or your money back.

• Hey, baby, my car and my chest are both waxed. Can I offer you a ride on either?

• If we go home together, I promise that you won’t regret it in the morning; I sleep until 1 (p.m.).

• I’m just transferred here from [smelly Big 12 university], and I don’t know my way around. Could you please give me directions to your place?

• Want to make a quick $20?

-Brandon